I’m a Dance Mom…

Reluctantly I have become a dance mom.

It’s not a role I ever wanted. I mean ever.

Ever. Ever. Ever.

I am much more comfortable on a soccer field, ball diamond, volleyball court or food court.

The world of dance is very confusing. Everything about it has been a struggle. Nothing about this dance life comes naturally to me.

You know who it does come naturally too? My daughter.

Choreography comes easily to her. She’s a natural smiler. She digs being on that stage. Sure, she looks like Jon Benet Ramsey out there, but I force myself to look past that.

Sometimes I feel sorry for my kid.

Mostly because she has a mother who has no idea what is going on.

I had never glued on a set of eyelashes before becoming a Dance Mom. I knew nothing about contouring a face or how to put hair into a neat messy bun. I’m getting better at this as we go along. My daughter is now in her 4th year of competitive dance. That means extra practices, hotel stays, team dinners, team coats, parades and performances in old folks homes, where half the people watching are asleep.

She’s happy. This is supposed to be all about her. But, for some reason, Dance really falls on the Mom’s. We have to do a ton of shit. It’s a bit ridiculous. But, maybe once you decide to “pull the goalie” then you deserve whatever comes your way when it comes to your children.

I know my strengths and weaknesses as a Dance Mom.

I can’t sew, so I usually cry when I hear the words “tack that”.

I suck at hair and make up so I have a step by step list that I follow. I have nothing memorized. My brain refuses to store this knowledge. Who knew that the universe had so many makeup brushes to choose from?

I never volunteer to bring a prop to a dance competition or show in fear that I will forget it in my driveway.

In fact, I know my strengths and weaknesses so well that when a new Mom texted me for fake eyelash help I almost dropped my damn phone. Did she text me by accident? What the fuck. I don’t mind helping, but I don’t want the responsibility of being one of the Dance Mom’s that knows what is going on.

That’s what Jody, Tanya and Kris are for.

In case you are wondering what that name drop is all about, those are some of the other Mom’s in my daughters Dance Team. I’m sure I didn’t insult Megan, Jade and Cori, because they are a bit of a hot mess themselves. Leah, Peggy and Carrie seem to be be figuring it out in a calmer manner, or else they just hide their sweat really well. I’m so thankful for the other women. They hug me. They help my daughter. They pass me bobby pins and teach me about setting spray. I couldn’t do this without them. It really takes a dance village.

Hey, I am not trying to give dance a bad wrap. I hope you find such a fantastic Dance Studio by fluke like we did.

There is so much damn good that has happened for my daughter because of dance and her teachers.

She’s happy. I’m happy.

But, I would still be happier on the soccer field.

(She won the highest mark in her solo class at her first ever attempt at doing a solo in competition.)

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4 thoughts on “I’m a Dance Mom…

    1. My daughter asked to go back to dance next year after a two-year hiatus. I hope she never wants to be competitive! One recital with one costume is enough for me!!

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