Do You Have To Be Friends With Your Kid’s Friends’ Mom?

Do you have to be friends with your kid’s friends’ Mom’s?

I am not talking about hating the other Mom.  I know there are some situations like that. But, I am not going there. Not touching that baby with a 300-foot pole. I am talking about how your lack of socializing with the parents of your kid’s friends and how it will affect their lives.

Now stay with me here, because I am going all over the damn place with this one.

Do you think your social life affects your kid’s friendships?

Here is a personal example;

My daughter was invited to a sleep over. I didn’t know the parents, so I said no.  But, three other girls went to the sleepover causing my daughter to be left out.

Whoop. There it is.

My not knowing the other family directly affected my daughter’s social life.

It did.

So, it does answer my question.

Sort of.

Let’s try this one? For the record, this did not happen to me, but it happened to someone I know

Say your daughter is friends with 3 other girls whose Mom’s are really great friends.  The Mom’s and their daughters go on a dinner date and have a great time.  You happen to be at the same restaurant while this is happening.

Oh, the joys of living in a town of 20,000 people.

Your daughter is crushed.

She cannot seem to grasp the concept of what is happening. How do you explain that?

How do you explain that it is nothing to do with your daughter and her friendships but that it has to do with the Mom’s and their friendships?

Do You Have To Be Friends With Your Kid's Friends' Mom?

Okay. I am going to keep going here.

Hold on tight.

My parents didn’t hang out with a lot of other parents. Growing up, I often hated that. Now, don’t get me wrong, we did a ton of fun stuff, but it was usually just us.  Which was fine. But, I was always jealous of my friends who went camping with other families. I always felt like I was missing out. And I was. I was missing out on lots of moments and that ever so important tween girl bonding, but I can’t say that it full out affected my friendships. I just felt left out.

But for those girls that got to go camping, it affected them in a positive way.

Are you still following me?

The positive of that is that because their parents are friends, the kids get to spend more time together and naturally have shared an experience which makes their friendship even stronger.

Or it makes them hate each other.

Because as you know, you just cannot force yourself to be best friends with someone. You can force yourself to be friendly and polite. But, you cannot force yourself to want to go camping, shopping or dinner with someone you just don’t like.

So, let’s go back to the beginning.

Does your lack of friendship trickle down into your children and their social life?

What if you are never invited to hang out with your kid’s friends Moms?

Is that affecting your daughter’s friendships?

What if you never invite your kids friends Moms?

Is that affecting your daughter’s friendships?

What if forcing yourself to be invited to hang out with your daughter’s friends Moms?

Is that affecting your daughter’s friendships?

Now hold on tight for this part.



Have you had this phenomenon happen?

When you become friends with the Mom of your daughter’s classmate, but your daughters don’t really like each other or invite each other to their birthday parties.

Or how about this?

When you daughter has a really good friend and you meet her Mom and you love her so much that you become the very best of friends.

Or even worse?

When your daughter has a friend and you meet her Mom and you love her so much that you want to give her a best friend necklace but she already has a best friend and a group of friends and doesn’t really want to hang out with you.

Or maybe this?

When you already have a group of friends and you just don’t want to invite another person into your inner circle. Because it is an honour to be part of your inner circle and not just any kid’s friends’ Mom is getting into that sacred space?

I’m dizzy.

Are you dizzy?

Let’s be dizzy together.

But, only dizzy together enough that my daughter can come for a sleepover and not too dizzy that you get into my inner circle. That’s too much dizziness for me.

Do You Have To Be Friends With Your Kid’s Friends’ Mom?

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