I’m a hypocrite.

Just a few days ago I was spouting off about being kind to ourselves and to each other.

Well, I should have taken a dose of my own medicine.

Here goes…

My parents were visiting and as a treat I booked my Mom (because she told me to) a pedicure. I called a spa that I had never been to before and wanted the most extensive one they had available. They were able to book her in the next day.

Yay!

A few hours later, I was talking to a friend on the phone and was told a some news that I wasn’t prepared to process.  There were a few tears and I hung up the phone feeling a bit desperate, lost and surprised.

Soon after the spa called back because they had to cancel my Mom’s appointment.

They were very nice and sweet.

I was not.

I was short.

I was snotty.

I was rude.

I hung up the phone.

It took me about 9 seconds to realize I had acted like a complete entitled jerk.

Now, before I go on, I want you to know that I have no problem admitting my mistakes. In fact, I would call it one of my best assets. I am not the kind of person who always has to be right.

I am also pretty forgiving.

In this instance, I was really hoping that the receptionist at the spa would be as forgiving as I am.

I needed to call them back and apologize.

I’m also not stupid and knew damn well that I sounded like a complete asshole and that as soon as she hung up the phone, she was probably telling everyone in that building what a complete asshole I actually was. And most importantly, no one deserves to be spoken to so curtly. She was doing her job.

I needed to fix this.

I needed to do the right thing.

I hit “call back”.

“Hi, its Kyla Cornish. I am really sorry for how I just was when you called.  I had a bad phone call earlier. I’m just having a bad day  It’s not an excuse.  I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have acted that way. I apologize again. There is no excuse for that.”

And then I got the, “Thank you Kyla, for calling back to apologize.”

It was in that moment, that I knew that she still thought I was an asshole.

The damage was done.

And rightfully so.

Who was I trying to apologize to?

Her or to myself?

I truly think that deep down, I was trying to do the right thing. But, I was also needing to apologize so that I could feel better about myself.

So what did I learn?

That even though I was feeling hurt, from earlier on in the day,  there is no reason to treat someone else that way. No matter if you are having a bad day, a stressed out moment or out of retaliation.

But you know what’s even better…..

Being kind.

All of the time.