Tired Wife Happy Husband…

My girlfriend is sleep deprived.

And it is terrible.

She is a bloody psycho.

I caught her yelling at a box of smarties on her kitchen counter.


What did smarties ever do to her?

She was behaving like a bird that broke into her house via the chimney?

Flailing. Squaking. Beaking off.

Generally, just acting like an asshole.

But, I get it.

She has a seven month old.

We all have been there and frankly it is just terrible.

I don’t even know where to start.

In fact, I am not going to start.

It was terrible.

By the way, terrible is my new favourite word.

Back to sleep deprivation….

I am lucky my marriage, my family and my body survived with such little sleep.

So watching my friend was very painful.

She was/ is only getting 3 to 4 hours of sleep a day.  Her husband is equally exhausted, but he seems to be dealing with it a bit better.

We sat and talked about it and I tried to help her with a plan that would help her get more sleep and have her not kill her family.  I asked her what time she goes to bed and what time she falls asleep and what time the baby wakes up.

And do you know what she answered with?

” Well, last night, I went to bed around eleven and then I woke up my husband, gave him some “fun time” at two and then the baby was up at five.”




Are you kidding me?

Are you freakn’ kidding me?

He was asleep and you woke him up just for the hell of it?

He didn’t ask you to?

It wasn’t your anniversary?

It wasn’t his birthday?

It wasn’t Christmas?

You just did this because you felt the need?

What the hell!

No, really.


I don’t feel sorry for you at all.

Get your priorities right, girl.

You really must be sleep deprived, because that is just batshit crazy.