Guest Post: Leanne Shirtliffe of Don’t Lick The Minivan…

I’d like to introduce you to Leanne.  She might be the most successful writer I know in real life. I like to stalk celebrities on twitter and I like to stalk Leanne in real life.  Her book  Don’t Lick the Minivan is a must read and a must own.  In fact it might be the most perfect gift for a friend that is freaking the eff out about being a parent.


9 Funny Parenting Theories from Don’t Lick the Minivan

I find anything that doesn’t have a basis in fact to be attractive. This includes my virtual love affair with Colin Firth, Fox TV, and raising children.

Perhaps this is why many parenting theories pop up in the narrative of Don’t Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say to my Kids.

From the book, here are nine of my parenting theories in mythical splendor:

1. Dimming the lights takes away labor pain.

2. Every baby name can be made fun of.

3. Raising twins is easy after six months.

4. Procreation clarifies the purpose of arrange marriage, boarding school, and birth control.

5. Kids love babysitters more than parents.

6. The most interesting conversations happen in vehicles or canoes.

7. Scrimping on Band-Aids helps save money for college.

8. Lazy parenting creates kids who are self-starters.

9. Lord of the Flies is a more useful parenting primer than Dr. Spock.

Do you ascribe to any of these theories? Any others?



Leanne Shirtliffe is the author of DON’T LICK THE MINIVAN: Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids. She’s also the mother of tween twins, a phrase that’s hard to say after two glasses of wine. She writes for the Huffington Post and Nickelodeon’s and has been published by The Christian Science Monitor, The Calgary Herald, and The Globe and Mail. When she’s not wasting brain cells tweeting, she teaches teens who are slightly less hormonal than she is. She lives in Calgary because she likes complaining about the weather.


Leanne Shirtliffe DLM shirt