Before we get to the Vulva Free Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Edition…
You might like to know that I was on t.v with Tyra Banks and Jillian Michaels. And I hit Jillian. Yup. I hit her.
I have to walk three blocks total to get my mail. We lived in our house for two weeks until we figured this out. The neighbours must have loved how I stepped onto the stoop six times a day and checked our mailbox.
Why the fuck do we even have a mailbox?
Sometime I pick the mail up on my drive home from work. But, lately I have been trying to get off the couch and take the long way to get the mail.
And if you are curious about what I mean by long…. I mean the seven block route.
In the words of LMFAO… ” I work out”
This is what greeted me after my strenuous work out.
Are you fucking kidding me?
That bathing suit doesn’t even fit her. Did no one even notice this? It is so ill fitting, it makes me want to write a letter to the editor. Her right boob is making me crazy. If I could just photo shop it just a millimetre, I wouldn’t be so pissed off about it.
I’ve been planning on writing this blog post for a while. But, just never got around to it. Thankfully I was reminded about it today.
I was shopping at the grocery store and I ran into one of the Bikini Mom’s. Somehow we started talking about this issue and how I couldn’t believe that no one even cared that this young woman’s bathing suit was much too small. And then Bikini Mom said, “Did you see the bottoms? There is no material. And I have to look at it every day at work.”
So now I am super irritated with her right boob and her lack of pubic hair.
Actually, did they photo shop her vulva out?
Where is it?
Where is your vulva?
P.S This is Zed’s first subscription to this magazine. He got it from his Mom for Christmas. And if I ever catch him lingering on it a bit too long, I plan to remind him of that fact. Often.