Bikini Mom’s and Me

 

My daughter and I have a problem.

We surround ourselves with beautiful people. I don’t know why it happens.

It just does.

We need to make ourselves some ugly friends.  Stat.

And, I have a confession to make…. my friends wear bikini’s.

And they wear them well. Better than the average mother of two or three. Better than me, which is why our invite to the beach today was going to be the blogging highlight of my life.

First of all. Let’s get this straight, I know, I’m not the fat girl in the after school special, who was just invited to hang out with the cool  kids.  I don’t always feel like I’m in Judy Blume’s book “Blubber”.  I just sometimes feel that way.

 

 

It just is what it is. And to me it is more hilarious than anything else.

On our drive out to the beach I told Zed that if all the girls were wearing bikinis then I was going to take a picture about them and blog about it. He said even if they weren’t I should blog about how I “stewed” about it the entire drive to the beach.

Listen, before I post the picture I want to say that I don’t really care what my friends look like. I don’t “stew” about it. I am not mad that they look hot in their bikini’s. Really. I’m not. I ‘m not even mad that I haven’t worn a bikini since I was five.   I didn’t even wear a bathing suit today.

So here are my friends…

I know.

Wow, right?

And yes, they are that tall.

And yes, those are abs.

And yes,  they are really that pretty.

Sidenote: Once on Jersey Shore they were talking about “Butterface’s”. So I had to google it and according  to Urban Dictionary:  “Chick with a hell of a nice body, but the face is ugly”. That’s not very nice.

Back to the beach…..

Blah, Blah, Blah. They got it all. Hillarious and smart. It’s kind of bullshit. It reminds of the first time I saw a Shania Twain video and all I could think was “AND, she can sing. PUHLEASE.”

I also want to add that Mommy #3’s Mom was also wearing a bikini.  And she also was wearing it well. Total GILF.

Google it.

p.s Next time I’ll post a picture of their husbands. Quadruple Blah.

Speaking of good looking people, did you see me on t.v with Tyra Banks and Jillian Michaels!?

Fab Life 6

8 thoughts on “Bikini Mom’s and Me

  1. Okay, I wear the “Mom-Kini”. The swim shorts with the gigantic halter top so all that shows is the barest strip of belleh. I have to wear the shorts because my thighs kinda rub together. Aaaahhhh… The glamorous life of a chubby woman.

  2. I am always surprised at how determined some women are to continue to wear bikinis as long as possible. It is their right I suppose but even if I was a millionaire I wouldn’t find it necessary to wear a 10 pound Rolex to make sure everybody knew it.

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