My Friends Are Getting Jobs

My friends are growing up and getting jobs.

I don’t like it.

Let me explain…

Many of us had careers before we had our children and then we struggled with our new roles of either staying home with our kids and/or going back to work.

Most of us spent the last 8 to 10 years figuring all this out.

Now that our kids are growing up, I’m noticing big changes in my friend’s lives.

They are starting their own businesses.

They are going back to school.

They are leaving their previous careers to find ones that stimulate them in different ways.

They are finding that their previous career has no flexibility so they are retraining in new roles in the same office.

They are making big changes.

And as much as I find them all inspiring. I am not sure how I feel about it.

It’s another phase over.

It’s like we have all gone on to start a new chapter in our lives.

0- 10 years.

10- 20 years.

20-30 years.

30-40 years.

Obviously, every 10 years in each of our lives has brought big changes in our development as human beings. But, I don’t really understand this next phase.

Is this when my career is supposed to be bringing me life?

Is this when I finally start to really like the person I am?

Is this the time where I tell my husband we should become swingers?

I’m no longer in the stage of my life where I am drowning, either are my friends.  Sure, we are balancing work, kids, school and divorces. But, we are getting our shit together and finally finding out who we really are.

The last decade of my life was so draining. We all seemed so fucked up in trying to find our identities through the weight of parenting.

And now we are here.

We’re all meeting ourselves for the first time.

Our true selves.

It’s scary. It’s exciting. It’s weird.

I’m no longer just a Mom. I am starting to get the opportunity to be more than that, but if given the chance, I know I wouldn’t want to go back to the days of being completely frazzled. But, the identity of being a Hot Mess Mom will be missed by me.





4 thoughts on “My Friends Are Getting Jobs

  1. As a mom in the thick of being a hot mess, I yearn for the day’s you’re facing. When I can poop alone, when I can do things and go places and not feel so dang guilty for leaving my kids behind for a little self care. I crave the time when can be less mom and be more me again…but like any transition the same thing scares me. I know I will mourn what has been while I embrace what is coming, they’re only little for so long.

  2. Do we ever get to figure out who we are? I loved being a hot mess mom. And then my kids went to school and I got a job to try to take some of the pressure off my husband. I became even busier working all day, sports with the kids weekends and evenings. I had to let some of the stuff that made my identity go – everything home made, home canning, afternoon coffees with friends – instead now I spent that money I worked so hard for on name brand clothing for my children and fast food. Not sure I knew who I was meant to be – but I was doing the best I could. Then the kids left home. Now I was sure I knew who I was. Two incomes – no kids, time to rekindle romance, time to get involved in the community, time to travel. And then he dies – it’s been three years and I’m still trying to figure out who I am. It’s a never ending process my friend, I don’t think it ever ends.

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