Well folks, it’s that time again. The time of year for pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin spice muffins and pumpkin spice scented farts. Autumn is approaching us almost as fast as Susan approaches the line up at her nearest high-end coffee shop after spin class, waiting for just a taste of the fall version of crack every basic bitch like herself knows and loves. It’s bound to happen. The lineups get longer, the days get shorter and every company you have ever known and loved has gone to the dark side promoting pumpkin spice something. It will be a literal feeding frenzy all while everyone ignores the beautiful falling leaves, the changing weather and the fall fun to be had because damnit, it’s not autumn anymore, it’s fucking pumpkin spice season and we all want a little piece of that pie.
If you are looking for ways to save money on your pumpkin spice lattes this season, there are a few ways to do that…
#1 Don’t Buy One
Seriously, those things are fucking expensive. They might taste delicious, but they will eat up your wallet faster than a flesh-eating bacterium will remove your skin. I’m talking like walk into the high-end coffee shop and end up claiming bankruptcy fast. This isn’t realistic though is it? Because pumpkin spice is fucking tasty and you know you’re going to buy them for as long as they are available. Just remember, next time you go past a bankruptcy office and see everyone out there holding a high-end insulated cup, lined up around the block… it was the pumpkin spice that got them.
#2 Use Coupons
Legit. You are the coupon queen at this point. Make a career out of it! After all, you’re going to have to once you get fired for coming in late everyday because the line up for pumpkin spice was off the charts. Your boss just doesn’t understand because she drinks black coffee, and no one needs that negativity in their life. Apparently, there is no such thing as calling in due to pumpkin spice withdrawal.
#3 Make Your Own
This sounds stupid to me too, but it works. In a pinch. Who am I kidding? It doesn’t. They just aren’t the same. THEY AREN’T THE FUCKING SAME. There is no such thing. It’s a fallacy. I have yet to try a homemade pumpkin spice latte that didn’t taste like deceit and regret.
Ok, so there aren’t many ways to save on pumpkin spice lattes, you should probably just do what I do and accept the fact that they are expensive, and you will drink them far too often.
Jen is a 32 year old work at home mother of two wonderful little cherubs age 7 and 10. She writes for ninjamommers.com with a 7 year old on her head, a dog barking at nothing and a 10 year old making weird noises in her ear. Send Wine.