Dear Daughter Have I Failed You?

Dear Daughter, have I failed to give you the tools that you need for your life?

Yes, I know that you are only 10.

But, I feel like I could have done a better job.

Yes, I realize that I can start today.

I just feel like I have started too late.

Have I?

I’m noticing things are different between us.

Your interest in me has changed.

I’m not sure when this exactly happened between me and my Mom. I feel like I was older before things “changed”.

I’m sad.

I hate that I bother you so much.

I’m not trying to.

I really think you do need to learn how to do dishes or use a knife to make your own snack.  Just the basics. I never put too many expectations on you. I see now that maybe that was wrong.

I just wish I knew when things were going to change.

I would have taught you those things earlier.

Somedays it is easier just not to.

Don’t get me wrong. I won’t give up. I love you too much.

You just get so frustrated that I often take the easy route.

I worry every single day that I have failed you.

If you decide that you do need me, you need to know that my door is always open. No matter what. I will always answer your knock, your call, your anything.

I believe in you more than I believe in anyone or anything.

You consistently amaze me every single day. I know there is a lot going on in that brain of yours. I get it. I’ve been there too. I remember feeling all the things that you feel. I just wish you would know that I am not against you, I am with you, kid. I am in the trenches with you. I will do anything you need. I will love you unconditionally. I will support you. I will always be on your side.

I’m not going anywhere.