I deal with being overwhelmed in the most ass-backwards way. I become immobilized. What do you do when you are immobilized?
That means that instead of folding laundry, cleaning the bathroom, writing a blog post, putting away the winter clothes or making rice krispie cake, I do nothing.
Sometimes I snuggle up on the couch and watch Scandal.
Sometimes I open the cupboard and binge eat.
Sometimes I cry.
I remember this happening a bit when I was a kid. But, like me, it was small. I never could really label it – I just knew that I didn’t feel quite right.
Now that I’m older. I can most definitely identify the feeling of being paralyzed by everything that piles up, and I hate it. It is one of the few qualities I don’t like about myself. Mostly because I like to be able to make sense of my world. This does not make sense to me. Being so overwhelmed that I end up doing nothing sort of pisses me off.
I feel lucky that I can identify it, deal with it and move on. It usually take a day or two and then I get my shit together. But what frightens me is the idea of a day where I won’t be able to move on. Where I get so immobilized that I have to admit that I am quite possibly depressed.
Do you carry something that you don’t like about yourself?
I have some books that I would like to suggest….
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