I have been yelling.

A lot.

I have talked quite a bit about how well my kids get along. Its always been the most beautiful thing to me.  How they share the same dvd player on road trips. How they snuggle and giggle on the couch.  How they read each other stories at 6 am so that we can sleep until 6:30am

It has been pretty sweet.

But, something changed this summer.

It’s been pretty terrible.

Whirlwind has figured out how to press ALL of Bot’s buttons. And Bot has learned how to whine and tattle.

It breaks my heart.

I didn’t want this to happen.

I know its natural.

I just didn’t want it to happen in my house.

Especially during the summer holiday.

We had a great summer with lots trips to the beach, 2 weeks to Manitoba, weekend trips with friends and lots of visitors. It’s been busy.

I have also been very busy entertaining the kids so that they leave each other alone.

It feels like every time there is a quiet minute they are going after each other. I just don’t get it.  It’s making me sad.

My friend told me once that her Mother worked very hard at making their home, “a house of love”.  That the world could be a mean place and that there were many rough days ahead but those weren’t going to happen in their home.

I really want that.

I live my life in such a way that I want to take responsibility for things. Yes, I do live by the mantra “It’s not about you”, but I also live my life by being aware of how others hear my words.

My words are important.

They can cause negative and positive results to my co workers, my friends and most importantly my family.

It’s a work in progress.

I am constantly yelling at the kids,  “BE KIND”, “THIS IS A HOUSE OF LOVE”, “WE ARE A FAMILY”. I don’t really think this is how its supposed to work.

I am going to start by not yelling.

I hope that works.

And if it doesn’t….

I can pour myself a vodka after they are fast asleep and remind myself that tomorrow is a new day to try again.