Glamour Shots….

Before I tell you about my friends getting Glamour Shots, you might want to check out me with Super Model Tyra Banks and Biggest Loser Trainer Jillian Michaels on National T.V

FABLife PHOTO CREDIT: DANNY FELD Danny Feld - Disney|ABC Home Entertainment and TV Distribution
FABLife
PHOTO CREDIT: DANNY FELD
Danny Feld – Disney|ABC Home Entertainment and TV Distribution

Some of my friends got together and took “Glamour” shots for their husbands for Christmas.

I was horrified.
Not horrified for them.
Power to them. I have some very good looking and confident friends.
I was horrified that they thought I would be interested.

Do my friends not know me at all?

Do they actually think I am the type of person who would be interested in wearing a push up bra, high heels and fishnets?  Oh, I know I talk like a trucker and write sexual escapades like a call girl. Plus, I have a very inflated sense of self.  But, dressing up for a photo shoot?
No.
Not my thing.
Never has been. Never will be.
But, mainly, I didn’t do it because of my husband.
Let’s pretend to be Zed for a moment….
Seriously.
Be patient with me, I am trying to paint a scene here.  Use your imagination.
It’s Christmas morning. 
 
The kids have finished opening their gifts, the house is a mess and you are into your third cup of coffee and Bailey’s.  Your wife just put a movie on for the kids so the two of you can have some quiet time to open your gifts to each other.  
 
You glance under the tree and notice that there is only one gift left.  And its for you! 
 
What could it be?
 
You already got socks, underwear and the “Neil Young” Biography. What more does a man need?
 
Then your wife hands you a present.  Its about the size of an iPad.  
 
Your mind starts going a mile a minute. You smile at your wife. You try to act calm but in your head you are screaming, “OH MY GOD, SHE GOT ME AN IPAD. SHE ACTUALLY LISTENS TO WHAT I SAY. YES YES YES YES YES. I CANNOT WAIT TO CALL EVERYONE I KNOW. FINALLY I HAVE AN IPAD! I AM LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME!  YES YES YES YES YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!”
 
Calmly, you open your ipad, er, present.
 
Wait a minute.  This is a picture of my wife?  
 
Why is she….?
 
Why is her hair….?
 
Why is she pouting …?
 
What is she wearing…..?
 
WHERE THE HELL IS MY IPAD!

 

32 thoughts on “Glamour Shots….

  1. LOL – yeah, I’m not into the glamour shots either. Wearing only a hockey jersey and sucking on a lollipop – not my thing.

    Wishing you a lovely week!
    xoxo

    PS – I made your auntie’s Curry Chicken recipe last night. It was SUPERB. I’m just ashamed that it took me over eight months to get around to making it! No fear though – my daughter declared she could eat it every day for the rest of her life (which for a 5-yr-old is a big deal).

  2. TOTALLY AGREE with you on this one Kyla! Of course, my husband would be looking for some kind of certificate for gun training, or maybe a shiny new business license or even a pick-up tag for a brand spanking new eyesore of a gun safe. But NOT a picture of me all done up Ducky!

  3. HAHA my husband would be pissed it wasn’t an Ipad either, he’s lucky on days I brush my hair and shave my legs, thats all the glamour we can handle around here! Thanks for the post!

  4. Bahaha… you could put your glamour shots on the ipad! Or maybe those old fashioned saloon pics you can have taken! Merry cowgirl Christmas.

  5. My husband does not need any shots of me looking like a hooker in the 90’s we have my moms closet if we want ro do that fantasy (never). My mom and day got these done in the mid-nineties and they look like they belong at the end of the Grease movie

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