Toot vs. Fart…

Toot vs. Fart.

The great debate, before we get to that….


FABLife PHOTO CREDIT: DANNY FELD Danny Feld - Disney|ABC Home Entertainment and TV Distribution
Danny Feld – Disney|ABC Home Entertainment and TV Distribution


We say “toot” at our house, not “fart”.

I know, I know. I am going all June Cleaver over here.

When Whirlwind says “fart”, I always look at her puzzled and tell her that I have never heard that word before.

The word “fart” bugs me. Especially when children say it.

And it bugs Whirlwind that I don’t know what it is, because usually she gets angry and yells, “FART MEANS TOOT!”

The entire conversation is a bit silly, which is another word we use around here. We use silly instead of stupid.

Which is really stupid.

Here is why…

I left the kids in the van while I ran in to drop something off at my parents. In the three minutes I was gone, Whirlwind had taught 2 year old Baby Bot some new words.

When I opened the van door he looked at me with his giant baby blue eyes and gorgeous smile and greeted me with, “Stupid Mommy.”

I was shocked.

And clearly unimpressed.

I told them that was not a nice word. And that instead, he could use the word silly.

So, now he calls me “Silly Mommy”.

And it really ticks me off. Because I know he doesn’t mean it, deep down I know he really wants to call me stupid.


34 thoughts on “Toot vs. Fart…

  1. You can stop that. You’re the mom. You are not “stupid” or “silly,” you’re the pillar that holds up their world. A gentle, “Baby, we’re not calling mama silly anymore. That’s not kind, and we’re always kind to the people we love.” (I know, I’m partially talking out of my ass because I don’t know you or your situation, but seriously, if you don’t like something your kids are doing, don’t let them do it. You’re still GOD in their world!)

  2. I think we must be least in our brains. I totally just wrote about farting FOR YOUR BLOG!!..

    So don’t say Fart and don’t write about it either until I send you my post…hahahaha

    1. I totally tried toot, bottom, silly, etc. Of course, once Drama was in a daycare class with other verbal children, that totally went to shit. I had to take 5 minutes I can never get back today explaining why we don’t call anyone a bastard, let alone brothers. Yeah. No idea where they heard THAT one.

  3. A million years ago when my kids were little we didn’t say fart, stupid, or call each other nast names. Now that they are all grown up I try to keep them from using the f bomb so regulalry. Instead of silly they call me crazy, old and senile. But they still love me – at least I hopr they do because when I’m really crazy, old and senile they are going to be the ones that have to pluck my chin hair and make sure I am wearing clean clothes!!

  4. My girls say fart ALL the time. As in “shh, shh, listen…ahhhh, I farted.” And I’d be willing to bet money that they’ve said it in front of Whirlwind.

  5. The word “fart” makes my husband stabby, and “toot” makes me cringe – so our girls say “bum bubble”. A delightful term they came up with one day, while “bubbling” away in the bathtub.

  6. My kids never heard the word “fart” until they started to hear it from other people. From the moment they learned to speak, I referred to it as “boomst” which I remember from my childhood because my German grandma used to say it. I think it may be some kind of German slang. The great thing is that I was never embarrassed in public when my kid is laughing and yelling that they “boomst”.

  7. The sex ed freakazoids (those who teach their kids to use PENIS at 6 months of age) are going to hate this, but I like “privates.” People were all over me about using the “proper” terminology until the school bus scandal of 2010. All those penis-proponents were called into school as their darlings jumped up & down screaming “PENIS PENIS PENIS” on the bus. Privates will NEVER get you in trouble.

    Oh wait.

  8. LOL We are a toot family too. Or we were until it started sounding ridic coming out of a teenagers mouth. That’s just gonna get her beat up! Now we just deny, head in the sand and blame the Dad.

  9. I hate the word fart too…but I’ve given up the battle. My kids are 13 and 10 and they say fart and stupid. I fail as a parent, but I rock at other things and my Mom taught me to do what I’m good at… so sarcasm it is!

  10. When I was very little, my parents used to call farts ‘gassies.’ My parents always told my brother and me to say excuse me whenever we “did a gassy.” We had some friends whose parents called farting ‘tooting’, and my parents started calling it tooting too when we heard our friends calling it that.

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