We Band Of Mothers….

Meet Marianne, we met while competing to be the funniest Mom’s in 2012. I would like to add that we rocked that mofo list last year and then this year we both failed to make the Top 25.  So, as an FYI: Those lists are a crock of poop.  Marianne has been a constant supporter of Mommy’s Weird and I am always excited to read her comments,  because they are damn hilarious and usually better than the post itself. And she has recently written a book and you can get more details about it here.  Yes, she is one of those people that SAY she is going to write a book and then does it. WOWZA.

A First Wife’s Perspective
In one of those rare moments of marital serenity when the children were asleep, the laundry was folded, and the garbage had been taken out, I looked lovingly into my husband’s eyes and asked the question many wives have asked their husbands throughout the ages:
“Would you ever remarry should something happen to me?”
I smiled at him expectantly, waiting for him to go on about my endless patience, virtue, and great beauty (all lies, I know, but I like to hear it anyway). Instead, he simply said, “No.” 
Confidently, I prodded.  But why?  Because nobody could compare? Who else can heat up a frozen pizza like me?  What other woman would suffer through your rants during Bears games?  Tell me.  Why would you never seek love like ours again? 
Joe responded thoughtfully:
“Because being married is like having a boss[1].”
To quote the Brits, I was gobsmacked.  My response to that statement could be heard across Western Avenue.  But we need not go there today.  Instead, let me recount another tale that occurred while I was pregnant with our third son and we had to determine who was going to get “fixed” due to some pregnancy issues.  I had suggested he handle the deed.  Snip snip done.  Joe’s response?
“What if, God forbid, something happens to you and my next wife wants kids?”
I had a host of angry words for his “next wife.”
“Hold on there,” he interrupted.  “That’s no way to talk about my next wife.  She hasn’t even been born yet.”
[1] No, it is not.

Marianne Walsh is a columnist, wife, and mother from Chicago, Illinois.  She spent ten years in the insurance industry where she learned all about the intrinsic value of the three-martini lunch.  Her writing has appeared in the magazine Chicago Parent, in her signature blog We Band of Mothers, and in hundreds of insurance-related materials that could put the most ardent insomniac to sleep.  Marianne has also been featured in The Wall Street JournalThe Beverly Review, WGN-720 Radio, and on BlogHer.  She was voted one of the Top 25 Funny Mom Blogs for 2012.  She holds a BA and an MA in English, and spends most of her free time wiping pee off toilet seats.