Me and Axl Rose

There have been a few instances in my life where I have seen people “lose it”. Or better yet, where I have seen people “lose it” on me.

Instance #1

I was running with “The Jiggling Diva’s.”  It was 8:30 a.m. on a beautiful Sunday morning.  It was peaceful and quiet. Not a person to be seen. We were chatting, laughing and having a wonderful morning.

Mostly, wonderful because none of us were hungover.

Which is a huge deal for a Sunday Morning with my “Jiggling Diva’s” Running Gals.

Two of the gals were running on the sidewalk and I was running beside them on the road.

Not a vehicle in sight.

Then a truck.

Coming towards us.

I didn’t move from my spot on the road, because the truck was not really a concern. I mean, we were running towards traffic, there wasn’t another vehicle in sight and there was a passing lane.

Plus, it was a beautiful sunny Sunday Morning and I was grinning ear to ear during a perfect morning run with my friends.

Well,  I thought things were perfect

The truck got right in front of us and the lady lost her mind.  I could see her yelling at me, I could see her arms flailing.  She was out of control mad at me being on the road.  She was no where near me.  But, close enough that I could see her bright red face and darting eyes.

It was almost comical.

But, very shocking at the same time.

Who could be that angry on a Sunday Morning?

Who could be that angry at a beautiful  fat lady getting some exercise with a big stupid grin on her face and huge bouncing breasts?

I like to think she didn’t yell at her kids that day.

Instance #2

I was on air and had just played a Guns’ N Roses song.  I came on air and said something like this,

“That was Patience, by Guns’ N Roses, on 100.2 Rock Me FM, and lately it feels like Patience is what you need when it comes to Axl Rose, he just cancelled a couple of concerts and he’s always making us wait for new albums….. How you doing? I’m Kyla  it’s 3:14 and the latest from Nickleback is up next.”

Out of the corner of my eye I see the phone is lighting up.

FYI:  Phones don’t ring in on air booths, they light up.

I answer the phone and hear something like this….

Woman:  “Axl Rose is awesome. You are a fucking loser. Guns N’ Roses is the best fucking band.”

Me:  ” I know.  I love Guns N’ Roses.  I just can’t wait til they come out with new music.”

Now she is a  Really Angry Woman,  “Fuck you. You are so fucking annoying, why don’t you go cow out another kid?!”

I sat there for a moment just holding the phone, then I started laughing.  It was so awkward and shocking to me that I didn’t know what to do but laugh.

Then she hung up the phone.

I sat there with the phone in my hand for another second.

What the hell just happened?  And why wasn’t I taping that call?!!!!

I’m not a fucking loser.

I am a fucking idiot.

That was radio gold to play for my co workers.

Forget the fact that someone was that invested in Axl Rose and Guns N’ Roses.

But, another woman just told me to “GO COW OUT ANOTHER KID! “

Who talks like that?


Who talks like that?

An asshole.

That’s who. An asshole talks like that.

Now, that lady was most definitely on her way home to beat her kids. Until I saved the day.  And all it took was a little Guns N’ Roses.

Me and Axl Rose.

Super Hero’s.

We’re just saving one kid at a time.