The Neighbourhood Bastard

We moved into our neighbourhood just over a year ago. I find it amazing that we hardly know our neighbours. I mean, I didn’t expect everyone to do cartwheels when we moved in.  To be honest, I am not sure what I expected.

When I was a kid I knew everything about my home town. Not only did I know everyone’s yard like the back of my hand, but I had been inside every single house multiple times.  Sometimes just to use the potty and other times because I wanted something to eat.

Yes, that actually happened. I still feel a little bit bad about it. One day, I actually stopped into Mrs. Armitage’s house, about a block away, she had a lemon meringue pie cooling on her counter and I actually said, “Oh, I love pie!”

And like any good prairie hostess in her seventies would do, she invited me in for a slice.

 What is it about the word lemon that makes me salivate?

Gawd. I want to eat that.


It still bugs me a bit that I was so brazen .  I pretty much demanded a slice of pie.  It was probably for a bonspiel or a funeral. Poor thing. She probably had to make another one from scratch after I left.  What a little jerk.

I also feel a bit bad about this one…

I went to a friends house to play.

Knock, knock.

No answer.

Of course the doors weren’t locked.  Who does that in a small town?   So I just walked right in and helped myself to some cookies that were on the counter in an ice cream container.  Really? Who does that?

Bored little chubby girls, I guess.

Back to my new neighbourhood…..

Whirlwind, Baby Bot and I were out for a walk.  There were a couple of  boys playing in their yard.  And it really surprised me when one of them said “Hello, my name is Cody.”

Wow. Did some neighbourhood kid actually introduce themselves?

I was so excited to meet this ten year old boy. YAHOO! Friends!   He just held out the olive branch to me and my little children and we were not letting go.  We have neighbourhood friends!  Movies, long bike rides together and dinner at my house. I had just found my new best friend in Cody.

Very excitedly I answered, “OH HI!”

I was ready to stay and play with my new friends but Whirlwind and Baby Bot were still walking. So I had to catch up to them.


But behind me I heard Cody yell.

“I’m a bastard”

I turned and looked at him in pure disgust.

Yes.  Yes, Cody. You are.

Double Rats.