Chicken Fingers, Vaginas and Caillou…..

Whirlwind has been popping out some good ones lately….

You can tell she is using that little brain of hers.  For example;

Whirlwind:  “Why does Caillou get to wear shoes inside?”

Me:  “Um……Because they don’t have carpet in their house.”

What I really want to say is: “Caillou is a cartoon and who ever draws him is too lazy to draw bare feet. And where is his hair? And why am I so attracted to his cartoon father?”

She is also trying to act like a grown up. For example:

I took her out for some Mommy/ Daughter time at a fancy restaurant.

It was Denny’s.

Hey, it is fancier than McDonald’s. Except my McDonald’s has a fire place, leather chairs and pictures of people rock climbing. What the fuck is that all about?

Anyways…..

Whirlwind is stirring her hot chocolate in her mug and says, “So…what did you do at work today?”

I can’t help but smile. She looks and sounds amazing. She is acting just like me. What a sweetie. What a little doll. And then….

“I can touch my vagina in my room right, just like you Mommy?”

“Um…….” I say. I look around nervously at the other tables surrounding us.

And she keeps talking….

“You touch your vagina in your room right, Mommy?

Oh My God. Shut up. Shut up! This conversation has to stop. This is really not the place for me to be talking about my bedroom habits. I start nodding like I am having a seizure.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, that is where I touch my vagina.” I answer.

Ugh.

And because I do not want to end this post with you having an image of me touching my vagina in my room…..

Some things she says are not so smart. For example:

Me:   “You are a brat.”

Whirlwind: ” No, I’m not, I’m a chicken finger.”

Me: “I think I would prefer that.”

Damn, I love me some plum sauce.

12 thoughts on “Chicken Fingers, Vaginas and Caillou…..

  1. I totally am picturing you touching your vagina in your bedroom. Or, as I will now refer to it, the vagina touching station.

    I can’t wait ’till she gets to school. You may recall the story of my 4 year old walking up to the front of his classroom and announcing to his teacher “mrs. McPherson, did you know that babies come out of vaginas?” Ah…good times!

    Smell ya later, vagina toucher! xo

  2. Oh dear. Well at least you were alone and it was healthy conversation, right? I had a friend’s child announce to me one day that his Mommy and Daddy had a shower together that morning and they made weird noises while they were in there. Yeah, with the Mom standing there turning red. TMI but too funny too.

  3. That was freakin’ funny. I’ve had similar non-public-friendly conversations with my boys, but at least when it’s penis-touching talk I’m able to avoid the ‘just like you’ parts. Still laughing!

  4. Ok so I’m late to this party, but I’m trying not to laugh and might have just peed my pants a little from the pressure.

    I have 3 boys, so one of them usually asks me why God was mad at me and didn’t give me a penis. In church, at the grocery store, at daycare drop-off, when they barge into the bathroom as I’m bent over, you know, appropriate places.

    Have fun with that!

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