What’s Worse Than A Hot Mom?

My friend has a problem.

It’s a problem that most of us have. It’s the “Hot Moms”.

But her problem is a little bit worse than the regular “Hot Mom”.  A regular Hot Mom looks like this….. she is wearing boots and jeggings, with a cowl sweater, maybe with a belt and hair that looks like it was blown out, then straightened and then curled.   A Hot Mom is also carrying a bag (purse) with a logo on it that you don’t really understand, but you assume must be super cool.

She looks like this…..

Or she may look like this….
Oh and in case you were wondering? She TOTALLY poses like this too. Especially when she is laughing at Weird Mommy’s jokes.  And in case you didn’t get that. I would be “Weird Mommy.”  Just reverse the name of the blog… get it… okay….
Moving on.
Actually before I move on, let me add again, that I have nothing against “Hot Mom’s”. I just desperately want to be one.  Well, at least look like one. I have no idea what is going on in their homes, their marriages and what sorts of drugs they have their children on.  Nor do I care. I just want to stare at them. And to be truthful, if they look this hot when they drop their kids off at school. Then, I can blog about it.
Touché. Bitches.
Okay… now I am really moving on.
My friends problem is not just “Hot Mom’s”.  It’s a little bit more complex.  She sends me an email about how she has it, “so much worse than I do.”  Her problem is dropping her kids off at school and seeing not just Hot Mom’s, but Hot Old Mom’s.
Have you seen these?   They are fantastic.  
They look just like Hot Mom’s, but totally better because they know how to rock themselves. And usually they have bangs.  Really? Who can pull of the perfect straight bang?  Apparently Hot Old Mom’s in their fifties.  Whose bodies seemed to have snapped back to shape after having a child at fourty seven.
Let’s not even talk about their super high breasts.

15 thoughts on “What’s Worse Than A Hot Mom?

  1. God I love you Kyla! I didn’t realize until a week and anhalf ago that yoga pants are apparently not for public presentation. WTF?!?!?!?! I just discovered them! If a hot mom can wear jeggings then why the heck can’t I wear my Fila’s??? That would be the question of the day. Maybe if I toss on a gaudy belt and throw on some thigh high f-me boots that’ll work? And don’t even get me started on the probability of brushing my hair (or teeth for that matter) before I do an early morning school drop off. Freaking Hot Moms! I don’t care what drugs they’ve got their kids on – on I want to know what the doctor prescribed for them.

  2. First of all, jeggings are so…. 2010. Those ‘hot moms’ should have given them to the Sally Ann on January 2, 2011.
    Secondly, dontcha think those so-called ‘hot moms’ are trying just a bit too hard? What are they trying to hide (besides lack of brain matter)?? Looks are only good while the lights are on, y’know?? They remind me of the bimbettes the Charlie Sheen ‘character’ hit on when 2 1/2 Men was still kinda funny. (Talk about art imitating life……!).
    I think about the pretty/popular girls from high school. Where are they now? I mean, after getting knocked up at 16 1/2 and having 3 more in rapid succession and their first divorce before 24….
    The Hot Old Moms have TIME & MONEY to get someone to do their manis, pedis, & massively colour their grey, grey hair.And probably a nanny for the kids. Dropping them off at school is oK cuz they’re on their way to tennis or yoga.
    So There.

  3. Hey! I’m a hot mom. I’m not trying to hide anything, nor are my kids on anything besides nutella on bread for breakfast. 😛

  4. I can’t email you to respond o your comment!! I should definitely clarify my radio guy comment. It only applies to men.

    No?

    It only applies to arrogant cocky obnoxious men.

    How about that? I’m sure you are perfectly lovely. And not rude. Or ignorant.

    Oh boy……

    I see an addendum to my post in the very near future.

  5. So I was reading your post aloud to my mum, and she says, (in her Christmas print snowman vest and mom jeans with the 9 inch zipper) I’m a hot mom…only it comes in flashes…LOL See what we have to look forward to?!

  6. Hahaha, you are so funny!

    This is BLYRO, author of children’s picture book Over and Under, hopping by and following your lovely blog.

    If you are interested, I am also giving away my Over and Under themed personally handmade bookmark. This is not a contest. Everyone can request this beautifully handmade bookmark for FREE. Simply get this link to make your request: http://blyro.peachburst.com/free-beautifully-handmade-bookmarks-by-blyro.html/

    A follow back is greatly appreciated:)

    Thanks and Happy Holidays!
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