R Rated Mommy and Me

After Whirlwind was born I took solace in a Mommy and Me Group. It was every Tuesday morning and if Whirlwind was napping I would be furious with her b.c it really was my only outing every week.

The group of Mom’s was a mixed bag.

15 year old drop outs.  Physically Disabled.  New immigrants.  42 year old’s. Mail order brides.  Lawyers. Social Assistance users.

One week at 10 a.m. a young Mom probably around 17 and her three week old baby, sat down beside me.  She had on a really low cut spaghetti strap tank top that was so low I could see the stretch marks on her breasts. For some reason that made me feel better about myself.

Still does.

Back to the story…

The 17 year old Mom was also eating a McFlurry.

One of the other Mom’s commented that she was having quite the breakfast and she laughed and said that she had a craving for it and was hoping she wasn’t pregnant.

Of course this shocked me. And if you have been following Mommy’s Weird, you know that anyone that is having sex is having more than I am.

Predictable me says “ You are having sex already! ”

And she laughed and said “I have to.  He always wants to.”

I told her that there are other things you can do.

“Just jerk him off.”

And because I was feeling especially supportive this morning I suggested that she, “blow him”.

Usually at Mommy and Me we talk about a different topic each week. Finger Foods, baby massage, songs to sing to our babies, cloth diapers, safety devices, baby wearing and breast feeding  Pretty G rated.

So this morning discussion was not typical for this obscure group of Momma’s. But my favourite part of the advice was still to come.

Immigrant Mommy #1 was sitting amongst the new Mom’s. She and her boyfriend moved to Canada from Ireland and had just had their first baby. Loudly, in her thick Irish brogue, she shouted from across the room…

“You better get your bits sewn up!”

I think of that often. Especially every time I see 17 year old Mommy. Who is now 19 year old Mommy with 2 little girls under a year apart.