I Hate Summer Break…

You may think I am over reacting when I say that I hate summer break. Go ahead, judge away, you little judgey judgerton. I don’t give a flying phooey on your opinon to this matter at all. Summer is hard for me. It’s a lot of fucking work and I am struggling like a cow in a muddy slough over here.

I recently posted this on Facebook

“I’m having a great summer. The kids aren’t fighting. We’ve had lots of quality time. They don’t even ask to watch tv. They haven’t asked for play dates 9x a day. I haven’t yelled once. They love me putting sunscreen on them. They never want ice cream, just cucumbers. When I ask them to wear a hat, they do. They love the hot days. They love the crafts I’ve planned. No one has said “I’m bored”.

There.

I said it.

And I’m going to keep saying it until it comes true. Please, sweet baby Jesus, make it come true.”

 

This post got quite a bit of traction on Facebook. I mean, not like those other famous bloggers kind of traction, but Mommy’s Weird kind of traction. And I know why people liked it and shared it, it is very simple……..because they related to it or because they love sweet baby Jesus, the jury is still out on this.

When I wrote this post, I was waiting for an asshole Mom or Grandma to jump on the post and tell me that I should enjoy this time while I can because soon my kids will be all grown up. No one did, but if they had I would have just smiled politely and not told them to eat shit and die like I would really want to.

But, I get it.

I get the point that summer is awesome and fun and carefree and other bullcrap.

I’m not stupid,  in 10 years I fully intend to look back at summer as all pancakes and water fights and lemon meringue pie, but for now, it sucks. It’s exhausting as trying to shave the back of your upper thighs.

Which reminds me to tell you to check out the back of my thighs the next time you see me at the beach, because I am not shaving the back of my quads ever the fuck again.

Summer should be easy. I should be able to give my angels a freezie and push them out the door and not hear from them again for 2 hours.  Hell, I would settle on 13 minutes.

If I hear, “Mom, I’m bored.”  ” She kicked me. “”I don’t want to go to the beach!” “I hate this spray park.”  “Can we watch t.v?”  one more damn time I am going to melt all their lego in the oven.

All. Of. It.

One big giant blob of plastic on a cookie sheet. (of course I will use a cookie sheet, I’m the one that cleans the stupid oven, why the hell would I make my life even more unbearable?!)

I wish they would get that all of summer is fun. Not just the playdates, the drives for ice cream, the organized beach trips, the festivals, the amusement parks and the family vacations that I have to plan. I am so sick of being their cruise director.

Of course there have been some amazing moments. I don’t want to stab myself every moment of every day, but it is wearing me down like my molars eating Werthers.

Sure, one could say that I quite possibly created all this.

I made them unable to put their own popsicle stick in the garbage can.

I made them unable to entertain themselves with my endless ideas of making them better people by taking them to story times, climbing walls, parks, beaches, live music, out door festivals and yadayadayada.

I made them unable to find their own clean pair of socks.

Me.

Blame it all on me.

I’m fine with it.

I’ve been blaming myself for stuff since the day I was born. I ‘m used to it. I can carry the weight.

I can also carry the weight of this bag filled with fucking sand toys, sun hats, sunscreen, bug spray, water bottles, snacks, extra clothes, and towels

Happy Summer!

 

 

 

7 thoughts on “I Hate Summer Break…

  1. Lol I kinda relate and yet not. I have NEVER before, been able to spend the ENTIRE summer break with my kids! I have always worked! Of course I took a couple of weeks off every summer and we would go camping and do as much fun stuff we could squeeze into those two weeks. Then it would be over and we would go back to work and daycare. So have totally enjoyed this summer at home with my kids! We haven’t even done anything super exciting, just spent time together. We did swimming lessons, had ice cream, slushies, played in parks and had picnics. We are looking forward to camping next week with their cousins and it will be great! But, yesterday was a test of my motherly being! I was up with B all night. He was just wide awake, not going to go back to sleep. I tried, I would doze but then I would here “mom, I’m thirsty.” “Mom I want to watch tv” etc. Then it rained all day! The kids fought over everything and I was tired and had a headache from hell! But we survived and today is a new day!

  2. Oh I feel ya. And my kid keeps doing stuff that makes me hide his iPad in yet undiscovered portions of my room. So then the “I’m bored” is even worse and more often. So now I just yell “For the love of God stop talking and go outside”. Don’t forget to spell my name right on my Mom of the Year award, okay?

  3. Just the other day, I drove by a sign in front of a school that said:

    Dear Parents,
    Tag, you’re it!
    Love,
    School Staff

    and I laughed. I’m sorry. 3 more weeks.

    (Again, so happy that I am a parent to a dog who I can put in a crate or take to doggy daycare).

  4. I am normally one of those mothers that treasures the time they have off….NOT this summer. For the first time since becoming a parent of school aged children, I actually can’t wait for them to go back. This feels weird to me. I love my kids, I love spending time with them and doing fun things….but this year, the constant bickering and physical fighting is at an all time high. It’s awful….I completely get what you are saying

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *