We Don’t Wear Wedding Rings…

I never really thought it was a big deal that my husband and I don’t wear wedding rings.

It wasn’t a trendy choice we made. We didn’t get matching ring finger tattoos.

It wasn’t a conversation that we sat down and had.

It just happened.

I didn’t put thought into it like I did when I kept my maiden name.  I thought about that decision but, it was still an easy one to make.

In our 3rd year of marriage, Zed lost his wedding ring. He was sick about it. He volunteered to sit in the dunk tank at the Canadian Cancer Society’s Relay for Life, after his shift and once he returned home, it was gone.  His thought was that it fell off in the freezing cold dunk tank. Sort of like the Shrinkage episode on Seinfeld.

He went back to look for it. The dunk tank had now been drained.  The grass was searched. He never found his wedding ring.

For me, the story is a bit different.

I loved my engagement ring and wedding band.

Compared to my friends I always knew my engagement ring was small. Heck even compared to my Mom and my Mother in law my engagement ring was small, and I would be lying if I said I never quietly compared it to my friend’s diamonds each time one of them became engaged.  As selfish as that sounds, I loved that ring. It represented everything that we were going through in our lives when Chris proposed.

We had nothing. Our couch was bought for a case of beer. Our table and chairs were bought at a garage sale for $20. Our t.v stand was a shoe rack. And our t.v was 8 inches.

My wedding band was a gift that Chris gave me after our first year of dating. We reused it because as I already said when we were married, we had nothing but, we also had everything.

Those rings represent that.

So why don’t I wear it?

At first, I quit wearing it because it gave me a rash.

Then I quit wearing it during pregnancy due to swelling and weight gain.

Now, I just don’t wear it.

And I never thought it was a big deal.

But, recently someone commented on it.

They weren’t mean, they just observed that we don’t wear wedding rings. But it bugged me. Like, really bugged me. And I have been trying to put my finger on the reason why I am so bothered by it. It doesn’t make us less married. It doesn’t make us less committed to each other. It doesn’t make us less in love or less of a family.

I usually don’t care what people think.

But, this time I do. If I have to wear a wedding ring to show the world that I love my husband, then I want to wear it again.

Does that make sense? Like at all? I am totally struggling with this.

I find this desire absolutely bizarre considering we have gone the last 9 years of our marriage bare fingered.  That after all these years, I need the world to know that I love him and that he loves me.

So, until I get my ring resized or become miraculously unscathed by the deadly ring finger rash, or change my mind and realize how stupid this all really is, this photo will have to do. See this guy? That’s my husband. And I am his wife. Ring or not.

 

 

14 thoughts on “We Don’t Wear Wedding Rings…

  1. In a way, I think it’s more cool NOT to wear one. You’re a pair, you’re a team, and you don’t need a frickin’ hunk of carbon to tell the world. Anyone who knows the two of you has no doubt. Just keep on not caring what other ppl think;) (IMHO)

  2. My fiance has the same rash issue. Therefore, she does not wear the ring I gave her. Do I care whether she wears it? Honestly, I used to be bothered by it. In time I realized that everything about our life together proves our commitment to each other. It’s all the little daily things that count. It’s being there for each other through all things & still being able to say, “I love you no matter what”. … that’s what is important.

  3. I haven’t worn ones for years either as I could only wear it on the weekends due to work (no jewelry , fake nails, piercings etc) I’d forget every weekend cus I don’t go anywhere anyways and the one time I tried to wear it, it was too small. Hubby took his off ages ago when he was working a more dangerous public job (we didnt need his finger cut off for that lol)

  4. You don’t need rings. Wear them if you want to. Get matching genital piercings. Tattoo each other’s names across your chests. It doesn’t matter. Real love is what you wear on your face when you see each other. xo

  5. My husband almost lost his ring on a beach in the Caribbean a few years back. Thankfully, with the help of some other vacationers, we were able to sift it out of the sand. It lives in my jewellery box and has done so for the last 5 years. It doesn’t bother me that he doesn’t wear it, but sometimes it bothers him. And we’re both lazy so we haven’t gotten around to having it resized for him. When we do I’m sure he’ll only wear it 50% of the time anyways. I wear my rings every day because they are pretty 🙂 I won’t lie, I just like looking at them. Does it symbolize our marriage? Sure, but mostly, they’re pretty 🙂 Get yourself a pretty ring that doesn’t burn and put it on that finger and don’t worry too much of the symbolism of it all. It’s just a ring 🙂

  6. My grandparents didn’t. They were Mennonite and apparently it’s “not done”. My other grandpa didn’t either; he was a surgeon in rural Africa and wearing one didn’t make sense. I like fiddling with mine but I’ve never thought people who don’t wear them were odd.

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