Christmas Sucks For Moms….

I try to see the good in life.

Truly, for as much bitching and whining I do, I like to think I am a pretty positive person.  I just mostly like acting like I hate everything because its easier for me than being namaste all the time. It protects me.

One thing I have decided to accept as fact is that Christmas sucks for Mom’s. I know I have touched on this topic before, but I feel the need to do it again.

christmas

 

My Mother is going to hate this.  Mostly because she absolutely hates when I write about her, but also because she is going to take this personal. So please bear/bare with me for a moment while I speak directly to my Mother.

Mom,

It has taken me many years to finally figure out why you were such a bloody grump all day on December 23rd, then until 5 pm on December 24th and starting at noon on the 25th.  

Christmas is a ton of work.

I appreciate you.

Love your youngest child, that probably ruined all your hopes and dreams of a nice retirement in a cabin on Clear Lake, 

Kyla

So back to why Christmas sucks for Mom’s, it all comes down to this….

WE HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AND IF WE DON’T THE WHOLE THING FALLS APART FASTER THEN A 90210 REUNION SPECIAL.

Excuse me while I lose my shit.

We have to help the kids with their Christmas list.  Sure, you can ask Santa for a puppy. It will probably die in his sack, but sure, ask away. 

We have to get them Christmas outfits for their school Christmas concert, for the Christmas card photo, for their piano recital and meet the requirements of the costumes for each event. Green shirt? Sure, let’s see if I can find one at our only big box store and if not, you will have to wear your brothers green Incredible Hulk shirt inside out.

We have to bake for the school Christmas bake sale. But, please don’t bake with peanut butter, wheat or eggs. 

We have to buy, wrap and mail gifts to our parents, the inlaws, the nieces and nephews.  That means I sit on amazon and click random gifts for kids I only see once a year and whose parents don’t even like me.

We have to buy the gifts for our husbands Christmas gift exchange. Yes, he can do it, but he will spend too much or too little or forget all together and then take a box of stuffing out of the pantry like he is giving a donation to the food bank. 

We have to teach the kids that Christmas is not about all the presents, but about giving back to the community, by taking them shopping and purchasing items for the food bank. No honey, people that use the food bank don’t want fresh ginger root. Shit, maybe they do. If so, see if we can go to their house for some fresh pad thai on Christmas Eve. 

We have to take them to get their yearly photo with Santa. “No he won’t hurt you. Just sit. SIT! SIT ON HIS LAP. Sit. S-I-T. Sit. Please sit. Get. On. Santa’s. Lap. Now. NOW. If you don’t sit you won’t get anything for Christmas. Great. Good. Oh you both are so cute. Smile. Smile, kids. Kids, smile!  Smile! HURRY UP AND TAKE THE FUCKING PICTURE!”

We have to remind our husbands to buy us gifts for our stockings because the kids think its weird that Santa fills everyone’s stocking but Mom’s. How hard is it to buy me some god damned chocolates?!

We have to do all the Christmas baking. What do you mean you want nanimo bars? Go fuck yourself.

We have to decorate the house. Yes, that is a box of unused decorations that I want to keep for next year, but I might use those coasters next year. 

We have to clean the house. 3x.

We have to find room in the freezer for the giant turkey. WHY ARE THERE STILL FUDGSICLES IN HERE!!!!!

We have to write, insert family photos and mail the Christmas cards. My hand is sore, my hand writing looks like Daniel Day Lewis’s in My Left Foot.

We have to make sure that the kids get at least one thing from their list to Santa. Honey, I think you should add socks and underwear to your list. TAKE THE PUPPY OFF THE LIST. 

We have to wrap the gifts. Where is the fucking tape? No really. Who took the fucking tape?

We have to organize the calander so that we can fit all the visits in. No, we can’t go to their party on the 22nd because we are going to the neighbours on the 22nd. CAN YOU NOT CHECK WITH ME FIRST?!

We have to buy gift cards for the piano teacher, the school teacher, the dance teacher, the newspaper carrier, the neighbour that watches the house when we are away. I hope you all like $5 Tim Horton gift cards, I am passed the point of caring about being creative.

We have to go to the liquor store and buy 3 cases of beer, 8 bottles of wine, 1 bottle of bailey’s, a bottle each of rye, vodka and rum. I must self medicate. Stat.

Not only do we have to plan the meals, we have to shop for the meals and make the meals. No one eats the stupid morning casserole I make for Christmas morning. I just wasted 2 hours making that stupid thing. Time I would have rather used rubbing the dead skin off my feet and elbows. 

Sure, I know some of you are going to comment that Mother’s don’t have to do all these things or that I don’t have to do all these things and I beg to differ. The illusion of Christmas is ours to create. We are the memory makers. It falls on us.  Our Mother’s did it for us. I want to do it for my kids. I do. I really do.

But, it still sucks.

 

Hey, thanks for being here. Apparently this post resonates with a ton of us.  You might also like the fact that I hit Jillian Michaels on Tyra Banks show the FABlife.

Fab Life 5

 

If you would like to know a bit more about me, you can find that info here or is it hear. Shit.

 

 

 

45 thoughts on “Christmas Sucks For Moms….

  1. It totally sucks, and having only had three boys I feel especially doomed. Already they are not wanting to help bake or decorate and they are still small. Do I WANT to work my ass off to ensure that Christmas is special for 4 grown men? No, and yes, and NO!

  2. My hubby buys my stocking stuff, and we do the present shopping together, but I still have to make the list, think of all the things, and yeah do all the other stuff. It is a lot of work. He does put up the tree, but then I help the boys decorate the tree, and put out all the decorations.

  3. I love this… And you! You just summed up my Christmases for the past 22 years! I lovingly do this for my family every year, and everybody has a great time but yeah….. Still sucks!

  4. I giggle at this not only because I’m a Momma of grown children and STILL do lots of this (i.e. buy PJs for Christmas Eve “surprise”); yet also because I’m watching my youngest who has two babies do this now with her little ones. Yes, I could tell you to knock a few things off your list of “to dos”, yet we all have our own magical spirit that we are trying to create in our homes. Have fun! Merry Christmas and pour yourself a Bailey’s and have a hot bath.

  5. it is december 18th
    there are light strands in coils scattered around the house (working ones, my roommate tested them) but i still refuse to actually put them up
    the box of ornaments is beside the tree (which is only lit up because it’s pre-lit) that’s been up since a week before thanksgiving. three ornaments are on it because my son found the train ones in the box.
    the angel will NOT stay on the top of the tree no matter what i do. except i haven’t tried a welder yet. hmm.
    the garland (or garlic, like my kid calls it) around the doorways keeps falling or breaking and i keep taping it back up, each time more haphazardly than the last.
    except now it’s staying broken because i’ve lost the fucking tape. again.
    i can’t even do the basic shit and you’ve got this whole list of “have to”s that i can’t even comprehend.
    so, yeah. it’s beginning to look a lot like fuck this.
    vodka.
    k. thx. bye.

  6. SO good. OMG YES. I was thinking about this exact thing lately as I run around shopping in a panic to buy stocking stuffers and extra gifts, make rice krispie treats for kids school parties, put together cards for teachers…and on and on. I’m tired.

  7. I am sat here laughing and crying as its all true! Secretly hate Christmas, because if I didn’t do it, nobody would!!!

    Even brought most of my own presents….

  8. My school is so PC I can cross off the “Christmas concert” and bake sale items. They have 2 parties a year (fall and spring) and the 3rd graders had a patriotic concert in November. The high school band did manage to put on a Winter Concert, but they have school owned tuxes for that. My youngest is 8 so I gave up on Santa photos, told the boys to put on their Zombie Christmas shirts and pose by the tree. It’s my best holiday photo in years.

  9. This year I am feeling a little more embrace-the-season-ish in general, but yes. I get this. It is a TONNE of freaking work but I do it. Mentally exhausting, just trying to remember all the things let alone DOING them.

  10. My beef has been the wrapping of the presents. Its bad enough I have to do the majority of the buying of presents (because he’s too busy, will spend too much and get something stupid), I just want to know why I have to wrap them all??? His answer, get the kids to wrap them.

    Wrap their own presents??? Yikes, it’s worse than I thought. Pass the Bailey’s would ya?

      1. Did you know that Santa leaves the presents at the bottom of your bed UNWRAPPED with all the wire connector thingies cut and plastic packaging neatly opened. Santa doesn’t want kids to wake up their parents too early Christmas morning – so he doesn’t use noisy wrapping paper 😉

  11. Hilarious! Lol at the sticking part. Exactly!!! My husband finally dues this but yeah my kids were always like what how come your stocking is empty. Oh crap that reminds me I need some stocking stuffers still. Dammit.

  12. Totally get it! This morning I woke up thinking ahhh, everything is done. And yes, i did it all, hubby went christmas shopping LAST NIGHT. Today I do nothing. Of course I have lowered my standards. Nope, no homemade cinnamon buns this year, and I’m not making waffles Christmas morning(thank you for being on sale Eggos) if I could still find the prestuffed turkeys I would have bought one. Me and my Baileys will be doing our best to relax the next few days.
    I’ve never had a successful “wife saver” casserole. Blech.

  13. My friend sent me this post 2 weeks ago. I finally had time to read it today because I until now I have been recovering from my life that is this post. I think I will make reading this an annual tradition along with light and stocking hanging and advent calendars and all that crap. At least reading this makes me laugh and I can’t possibly gain weight from doing it.

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