Four weeks ago, I started exercising again.
I feel really good.
Honestly.
Seriously, I am not feeding you a line of horse poopous.
I actually feel...really... damn... good.
I mean, there are obviously things that are not good about the entire process. Like the kids taking my weights. Or jumping on my stomach while I do abs. Or when they attempt to get on the treadmill with me.
But, besides all that, the only thing I find really difficult about working out is finding the time to do it.
It's almost impossible.
Not only do I need a 45 minutes to "work out". I also need an additional 45 minutes to shower and towel off my chubby booty and get presentable for the public eye.
Or if I go to a Zumba class, the entire process takes almost two hours out of my day.
All of this is bloody exhausting.
You know what else must be really bloody exhausting?
Doing this sort of stuff all the time.
Being a super model would really, really suck.
Can you imagine how much time they must spend taking care of themselves?
Workouts. Calorie Counting. Hair Cuts. Highlights. Blow Outs. Waxing. Pedicures. Manicures. Spray tans. Tweezing. Shaving. Fake eyelashes. Gel nails. Microdermabrasion.
What the hell is microdermabrasion, anyways?
I think its some sort of hard core loofah event.
Can you even imagine how long she had to loofah her body for?
And again, where the hell is her vulva?
I think she loofah'ed it off.
If any of this makes you think, "Wow, Mommy's Weird has just got to be one of the Top 25 Blogs in Canada." Then please click here and toss me a vote every 24 hours. I know you can do it. I believe in you. Just vote with your left hand while you do dishes with your right hand, kiss a boo boo with your mouth, wipe up a spill with your left foot, while you have a kid hanging on your right leg.



Yes, being a super model IS tough....but someone has to do it.
ReplyDeleteJet setting to Italy is hard work damn it! I respect you.
DeleteYes. And um, if you suspect I'm a super model you are in for a HUGE shock at Blissdom. Now, I'm off to vote again. :)
ReplyDeleteI will be looking for the 6 foot tall hot blonde.
DeleteAnybody that writes about a supermodel loofah-ing her vulva off has got my vote...done!
ReplyDeleteThanks! ;)
DeleteI spit my coffee when I got to the line about her vulva! Very supermodelly of me no?
ReplyDeleteVery!
DeleteI stumbled upon your blog two days ago. Since, I haven't been able to stop laughing. I've also been talking about you and your blog like I know you to my husband - which he finds equally hilarious and pathetic. Anyway. I'm your newest follower, stalker, lover- whatever. <3
ReplyDeleteNow that was so damn great, that I emailed it to "MY" husband. I am super flattered and love that you laugh while reading it!
Delete