It's confession time.
Here goes....
I looked down another woman's shirt.
I'm not a lesbian.
Not counting that one time in college.
Oh, and high school.
And not that there is anything wrong with it, it just wasn't for me. Too many breasts floating around for my liking.
Any who....
I looked down another woman's shirt.
And it was awesome. First, of all I would like to mention that I didn't do it on purpose. It just sort of happened. Because when this woman bent over to help her child, I saw in her breasts what I see in my own and I couldn't help but stare. I also couldn't help from feeling happy. I wasn't alone.
Her breasts were also full of stretch marks.
Her breasts also looked like socks with rocks.
Her breasts looked like war wounds.
Truly, I couldn't be any happier about this.
So, this morning, I raise my coffee cup to you, Random Mom. Not only did you make me feel much better about myself, my choice to breast feed and years of gaining and losing weight.
You also reminded me to buy some new bras and to only wear turtle-necks.
LOL this is too f*ckin' funny. CHEERS!
ReplyDeleteSwear away, girl. Don't be scared!
DeleteLMAO - I've done it, and I almost always feel validated after. :)
ReplyDeleteI wish, as a little girl, someone had told me it was perverted to look down other women's shirts. If I had known I would have announced my perversion many moons ago.
ReplyDeleteI too am a pervert!! I do declare. And if you lean down in front of me I will ogle your bosom until I am satisfied it has been sufficiently ogled.
Question: if we all do it, doesn't it negate the label of perversion?
Or do we like being perverted??
I don't know the answer to the question. I'm just stuck on the fact that you have been doing it for years. You win. You are the biggest perv I know.
Deletewell you are welcome to look down my shirt anytime- my saggy stretch marked boobs will make you feel simply fantastic about yourself :)
ReplyDeletelol Cheers!
Bring them out at Blissdom!
DeleteI do the exact same thing.
ReplyDeleteNext time post a pic of yourself shirtless.
DeleteIf you look down my shirt, you'd only see my gut. Nothing blocking your view - but it's full of stretch marks too. Fucking kids (I don't mind swearing - I know you - and I knoooowwwww you love f-bombs). Cheers to boobs like slinkys!
ReplyDeleteGUFAH! Slinkys?! BAHAHA.
DeleteYes the girls are definitely not they way they used to be. Stretch marks and oranges in socks after having kids and nursing! Ugh. Yes I have glanced if they were right under my nose. I just wonder what the fuss is about? Why do men like them so much?
ReplyDeleteThose are very good questions. Ask your husband tonight and then give me the answer.
DeleteMy girls are stretch mark free but unfortunately my gut did not fare as well but your post made me feel better
ReplyDeleteFeel better about your own boobs? I hate you.
Deletenot a comment on this post in particular, but I have spent some time tonight reading 7 or 8 of your posts and reflecting on Sophia's comments the other day that you are "absolutely hilarious".....I'm thinking to myself "Mommy's Weird".....yupp...keep it up Mommy.
ReplyDeleteAwwww... Joe. Thanks so much. I'll do my best. Now if I ever need to write a post about people addicted to running..........
DeleteOkay I too fit this stretched out categorey! However I seem to have almost lost my boobs altogether after nursing 4 kids they decided to take a vaca! Oh well, I will admit to being a perv also but sometimes it can't be helped they just appear from know where and are right there staring you in the face so you have to look, compare and be happy or jealous or sympathetic!
ReplyDeleteYou are great, always make me laugh!!
I wonder where your boobs went on vacay? Hopefully Florida. Now I am wondering what Boobs would pack for a vacation? Snacks? Lotion? Whiskey?
DeleteHA! My boobs are the only things that remain semi-intact after 3 pregnancies. I invite the world to check them out whenever. My saggy stomach and flabby arms on the other hand? Please avert your eyes, Planet Earth.
ReplyDeleteWhenever? I might take you up on that...?
DeleteZero pregnancies but still my boobs have headed south and are communing with my belly button. Damn aging and gravity!
ReplyDeleteDid you say commuing or having communion together?
DeleteI love boobs. All sorts of boobs. I always have. I am not a lesbian by any means either i can just appreciate a nice set of tah tahs. I think i have boob envy since my boobs are small and stretch marked and the nipples point south instead of being perky as i always imagined they would be when i was a growing up. I think my boobs would make a better set of moobs.... but then that is just a personal opinion.... haha maybe when I actually start making some money off my degree i will invest in some boobs that are stare worthy hahaha.
ReplyDeleteAs always a fantastic post!!!
Feel free to share your secrets anytime, JMO :)
Delete