Whirlwind was playing "house" with Baby Bot.
It was super cute. I sat with my cup of coffee and listened to all the little chatter between the two of them. It was adorable. My kids are the sweetest and smartest. They really are. And if there was a Mommy Heaven, I was totally in it.
Then I heard her say,
"I'm the Mom. I'm a Dick."
Did she just say, "I'm the Mom. I'm A DICK!"
No, she couldn't have. There is no way she called me a "dick".
I know for a fact she did not use the word "dick". Because she doesn't know the word "dick". We don't say the word "dick". I prefer the term "cock sucker", but never around the kids.
Eventually, yes, she will learn that I am a "dick". But, not yet. This is way too soon for her to have figured this out.
What bothers me most is that I thought she said the word, "dick". How sick am I? I'm a fucking narcissist. Really, could my four year old daughter have actually called me a "dick"?
Oh My God.
How many times am I going to write the word "dick"?
Turns out they were playing doctor.
Whirlwind said, " I'm the Mommy. I'm sick."
I am a total dick.