I don't know how it happened.
I am not sure why it happened...
Well, I have an idea possibly its because I am super competitive. But, I don't mean to be. I try to play it off like I am not, like I don't care. But, I really really care. I was born with it. My family is just really good at stuff. My parents, my sister, my brothers. We are just good at everything we do. Except fixing things. Carpentry, plumbing and anything to do with cars.
You hire people for that.
Oh, that reminds me, I've got a good story about that.
But for now, let's stick with why I turned into a jerkface of a Mother.
Whirlwind has been taking swimming lessons for the last 8 weeks. And she is absolutely amazing at it. By far much more superior than the other kids in her class.
That would be problem #1.
Why did I even notice that? Why am I even saying that? It's a class for three to five year olds. No one is superior to the other.
Well, except my daughter.
Anywho, off I went to sign up Whirlwind for the next class and the woman working asked me if I was sure that she had passed onto the next level.
Me, very confidently and almost laughing: "Oh, I'm pretty sure..."
Front Desk Woman: "Let me check."
She goes and checks a file.
Front Desk Woman: "No. She didn't pass."
Me: "Oh, there must've been a mistake."
Front Desk Woman smiling: "No, there has been no mistake."
Me, trying to explain: "Listen, I am not telling you that you are wrong, or that the teacher is wrong. But, there has been a mistake. Sometimes I notice he calls her by the wrong name. And she has never missed a lesson. And she puts her whole head under the water. I'm just telling you, there has been a mistake."
Woman, who is now looking at me like I am a freak of nature, but speaking to me very nicely and not condescending and almost apologetic: "You can take it up with the teacher."
Me: "What about the other kids? Did they pass....because Whirlwind was doing everything she was supposed to do in that class. And she is leaps and bounds ahead of the other children."
Woman, who may I add, is very good at her job: "How about we just sign her up to take the class again and if anything changes you can come back and either get a refund or credit for next time."
So, Whirlwind is taking Sea Otter. Again. Whatever. It doesn't really matter.
What matters is that I have a lot to learn. Especially from the Front Desk Woman. I think I got Mother'ed by the Mother of all Mothers.
But, seriously, what the hell! Whirlwind should really be a lifeguard by now.
I am sooooo funny. Right? Like, Top 10 Funny Mom Blog Funny? If so please remember to VOTE!
HAha, So I AM that mom too!! My son has been in sea otter twice, last time was put into a class with 3 kids who were terrified of water so he pretty much got bored and got nothing out of it besides learning how to keep his bum on the wall and to not splash because it scared the others. I signed him up for Salamander anyways...surely he is ready :) If not then I am a big a**hole, setting him up for failure. Ah motherhood!
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to be the same way with kids since I'm already like that with my dog. He had ONE good obedience class and won the "Puppy Cup", so I figured he's a real champ, like this guy is going somewhere special. I signed him up for the next session and he quickly became the fucking class clown. One step forward, two steps back. But I don't care how much it costs, how many times he bites me, how utterly embarrassed I am, he WILL be the BEST behaved dog EVER. I expect that my kids will be the same way....(insert laughing here).
ReplyDeleteRueben
@ Alicia: I love that you called yourself an asshole because THAT was what I was going to name the post. LOL. Maybe I will follow your lead and just sign her up in Salamander. Stupid names.
ReplyDelete@Reuben: That story is hilarious. Can you start a puppy blog?
I used to babysit 4 kids under the age of 5 and raising a puppy not to be an asshole is just as exhausting. (those kids were nuts- no wonder the parents used to leave me with them for like 12-14 hours at a time)....I suppose I could puppy blog- if he'd leave me alone for like 5 minutes! Perhaps this summer when I'm footloose and fancy-free....
DeleteIt's just blind love. We all do it. And we all secretly think other Moms are lunatics for thinking their kids are better then ours when they are so clearly NOT. Now, I'll go vote you into the top ten if you'll go vote me into the top uh, 200. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, man. I'm so glad our swimming lessons don't have levels yet. I'm going to be really angsty on her behalf if she doesn't pass every level. Of course it'll be wasted energy because I'm pretty sure she won't know the difference.
ReplyDelete@Leanne: Done girl!
ReplyDelete@The Host: P.s love your blog!
hee..phrasie passed sea otter...first try!
ReplyDeletedid i really just brag in a blog comment?
i think i am a bigger asshole! but i can see how we are all so proud of our kids and that's what matters, right?
I was like wtf when mine didn't pass sea otter! He has to keep his head under water for three seconds?! What the hell? I couldn't even tell him he didn't pass, I was just like ok, nothing to see here, let's go get changed. I was pissed... But seriously he's not gonna notice right? ; )
ReplyDeleteI sat at the side of the pool for an entire summer watching my kid sitting on the edge of the pool with her feet in the water watching her class. On the first day she swallowed water and refused to go in. I didn't want to be one of those parents who drags their screaming child into the pool so I let her sit on the edge the entire time. Even told the teacher I was fine with it. Then on the last day the teacher took my kid aside, whispered in her ear, they both got in the water and it was like my kid was born there. Weird.
ReplyDelete